Why You Should Forgive

We live in a world full of imperfect and hurting people and sadly the most common trait of hurting people is to hurt others. It is a domino effect and only those who are wise enough to forgive are the ones that don't to get knocked down. 

Movies and media constantly perpetuate they revenge scenarios; getting back at bullies, a slap back at the ex-best friend, revenge on exes. I’ll admit, sometimes seeing people get their medicine feels good at first but after it’s all said and done, it’s all in vain. Causing a person pain will NOT heal the pain they have caused you, only forgiveness will.

You have to understand that forgiveness it not marshmallows and rainbows in your head when you think of the person who hurt you, and it is not pretending things didn’t happen. It is about growing from that hurt and overcoming their behavior. There are so many misunderstandings about the act and state of forgiveness that I plan to write an article about what forgiveness isn’t. Forgiveness is simply not holding any negative feeling towards a person for the pain they caused you and not letting that pain, event, words, person or behavior have nay power over you.

Forgiving is not known to be the easiest thing to do but ironically, having unforgiveness just makes things less easier: relationships, health, happiness and just life. 

Here are 5 of many reasons why you should forgive.

1.You only hurt yourself

It is quite simple: you are only hurting yourself. It’s been said before: "Holding grudges and fostering unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die"

you only kill yourself. People may hurt you on purpose or by accident but being in a bad mood won’t move them to remorse( Trust my, I’ve tried this). Also, some people do not know the weight of their words or action unless you tell them or unless it happens to them in which case you sit back and let nature deal with them. It’s not always necessary to discuss the issue that needs forgiveness at times and initiating revenge on them won’t do you any good either. The best revenge you can have is to forgive and to move on. Do not give someone the opportunity to blame things on you because of your reactions triggered by unforgiveness and resentment they provoked.

2. It is good for your health

I do not have testes in a lab to prove this (I don’t have a lab at all right now actually 😀 ) but it known that being happy is good for your health and of course being unhappy is bad for your health. Results in people differ but the relation between your emotions and spiritual health is connected to your body, after all, you are made of three parts which are body, soul and mind and if one part suffers the others do too. This lets us know that if you have unforgiveness and grudges stuck on your soul and thus weighing it down, it will show in your health. I have heard and read my share of stories from people who have had miraculous healing of their deteriorating healths when they forgave people; the back aches vanished, the migraines stopped and blood sugar and pressure was regulates. It is amazing really. You can search and read up on some when you have time (preferable after you read this article). Forgiveness is good for health. The negative energy, mental and chemical messages from hoarding resentment and bitterness triggers things in your body and you suffer as a whole. In a way, hoarding unforgiveness is like letting the person hurt you over and over again

3. It makes you stronger

" Forgiving is a trait of the Strong"

It's a quote and it is true. To avenge someone is to take the easy route by doing what is easy to do and letting your emotions rule over you, but to stop and control yourself in the state of being hurt takes strength. Practicing your self-control is strength. Quite ironically, fighting back and getting the last slap seems to be the thing that will show how ‘strong’ you are by letting people know that they should not mess with you but it instead only does the opposite: it shows them it’s easy to get on you’re nerves. It shows them that you lack self control and  it basically can make a fool out of you at times while you are thinking you are showing off your power when in actual fact you are parading your weakness. There are people who excite your anger to act on someone when you are angry and after making a scene and getting back at a person, they make you feel like you taught them a lesson when in actual fact they are exploiting you weakness for their own entertainment or temporary feel of action or worth. Mentally immature people may call you weak because they do not understand or they don’t like that you are not entertaining them with drama, but that is a price you must be willing to pay to defend, cultivate and keep your strength.

4. it opens doors for you

Admit it, unforgiveness really holds you back. Not forgiving people somehow has a chain reaction causing you to start viewing others in the light of your hurt due to that particular person, people or situation that hurt you. For example, having unforgiveness towards a past relationship can cause you to view the new relationship through the same lens and thus you self-sabotage it. Having bad friends that you haven’t forgiven can somehow make you feel that others are going to do the same things to you that those ex-friends did. Because you are so focused on this resentment, you miss opportunities and pass by open doors to relationships, jobs, experiences and life.

When you forgive however, suddenly everything is free to be what it is. The hurt becomes a lesson instead of a fear or hinderance and you are able to see and take the opportunities to meet new people, engage in new relationships and venture into new jobs. You allow yourself the full package of your life when you do not hoard unforgiveness.

5. Mot importantly, because God says so

Forgiving is important to God and it should be to us. We are living and have the opportunity to turn to Jesus Christ the LORD and be saved because of HIS forgiveness. In forgiving, we act like our Father in Heaven and we are being obedient to him. To forgive without love is like trying to swim without water. God tells us to love our enemies and He also tells us that it is HIS job to avenge and HE will avenge. Knowing that, we should let God do what only God can do, HE does not need our help to be God and to avenge people.

People love getting life hacks and words of inspiration from world renowned speakers, leaders and figures. We chew on the words of the Gandhi and Mandela because we know that their words are worthy because of the wisdom in them. How much more the Creator? The one who made life itself definitely knows what He is talking about when He guides you on how to not only live it but live it well. God is always encouraging us to forgive through the truths in the Holy Bible. He knows that we only hurt our selves with the poison of unforgiveness and better yet, He reminds us that we have also sinned, and as much as people hurt us we have also knowingly or unknowingly hurt others deeply. As much as we would like to be forgiven for provoking pain in others, we should give forgiveness too. Give what we want to be given to get what we want to be given.

Forgiveness is so prominent in the bible, like a sermon so important we have to hear it over and over again in different scenarios. From Hosea forgiving his unfaithful wife to Joseph forgiving his brothers who wanted to murder him and sold him as a slave, to our very own Savoir Jesus when His parting words on the Cross were “Father, Forgive them for they know not what they do”.

Conclusion

Like breathing, you must take in and let go to keep living, and so it is with forgiveness. It is a necessity to living a whole life and there is nothing you gain by not forgiving. Yes, it not easy but it is sure worth it.

As they say, "Forgiving is setting a prison free and realizing the prisoner was you. Lewis. B Smedes"

So set yourself free.

I trust this article has given you some understanding and insight on why forgiving is important and I hope it will encourage you to forgive others when you have the chance to.
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